what should i feel or think???

today,
there are lots of things in my mind,
i feel sad while i'm thinking bout it,
but at the same time i'm happy remembering that moment,
i keep looking at that place,
and i wish i can turn the time back to few months ago,
i really wish i can do that,
but it is impossible,
i have to face it and stop dreaming,
uh, it's killing me,
i want him to know but at the same time i dont,
actually i dont even know what i what,
things are not like what i expect them to be,
i'm sad,
i'm frustrated,
i'm confused,
sometimes, i feel like i lost in my sadness,
i told myself to be strong,
i told myself to just let it go,
but it might just some kind of lies that i create to cover up my feelings,
i dont know what i have to do,
i dont have the courage to cry or shout out my emotions,
maybe the truth is i'm losing myself,
figuratively i'm sinking in the ocean of sadness and loneliness,
and in the end, i just cant let everything go that easily.